My relationship with money started when I was a little girl. I had three pocketbooks to divide my allowance: one for savings, one to buy Christmas gifts, and one for spending money. However, dog mom adulting comes with so many more financial responsibilities.
Which brings me to this book I stumbled upon, Feel Good Finance: Untangle Your Relationship with Money for Better Mental, Emotional, and Financial Well-Being by Aja Evans. The book takes readers on a journey to understand their relationship with money, their emotional triggers, and how their past experiences shape their financial choices.
Or, simply put. The book is all about helping us get naked. Financially naked. In this blog post, I’m sharing how this book helped me take the leap to undress myself financially and create a better dog mom financial planning strategy.
Starting with Your Money Story
We all have a money story. A money story is the narrative you’ve unconsciously built around money based on your upbringing, experiences, and beliefs. The book helps us focus on establishing and understanding our money story. Your money story is usually influenced by one (or more) of the following:
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Family Dynamics – How your parents or guardians handled money.
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Childhood Experiences – Whether money was a source of stress or security growing up.
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Societal Pressures – What you believe money represents (success, freedom, power).
Money stories can also evolve over time. For instance, my money story started with the three pocketbooks I used when I was little to separate my allowance. However, now I have way more than those three expenses. I’m a dog mom, pay rent, and have to buy other living essentials.
That pocketbook method was great for a 7-year-old girl, but as an adult, my story has a lot more influences determining where my money goes. Feel Good Finance helped me evolve my money story by asking questions.
Reflecting and Rewriting Your Money Story
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Reflect on Your Childhood: What messages about money were you exposed to as a child?
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Identify Patterns: Do you tend to overspend when stressed? Do you hoard money out of fear of scarcity?
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Acknowledge Emotions: What feelings come up when you think about money—guilt, shame, pride, fear?
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Rewrite the Narrative: If your current money story isn’t serving you, how can you shift your mindset?
So, How Did I Get Financially Naked?
Now that my money story was together, I could break free, strip, and get naked. Being financially naked is the state of having a vulnerable, honest moment where you lay out your entire financial situation in front of yourself without judgment.
I must say. Stripping down and getting financially naked can be freezing and uncomfortable. But it’s necessary. Knowing where you are financially provides clarity. As uncomfortable as it was, I asked myself four major questions from the book.
Was I Avoiding My Financial Situation?
Avoidance is ignoring bank statements, letting bills pile up, or refusing to check your credit score are all ways we avoid facing financial truths. It’s one of the most common financial coping mechanisms.
Honestly, I didn’t think I was. But as I dug down deep, I found a hint of avoidance there. I hated looking at bills. Especially, when it came to expensive vet bills. I would just pay the bill and keep it moving. I also barely read Sugar’s pet insurance policies.
However, asking myself that question made me realize that I could be spending more by doing this. So, I knew I had to get more proactive in reviewing my finances. Creating and using Dog Mom Math as a financial planning system helped me be more proactive by not only budgeting but also creating an emergency plan and assessing the hidden costs of being a dog mom.
Incorporating these resources helped me be more proactive about my dog mom financial planning.
Was I an Emotional Spender?
Short answer. Yes. I mean. Sugar’s cute. Sometimes that cuteness gets her a toy while I’m standing in line at PetSmart. Especially, if it’s been a tough day at work. Sugar’s joy is contagious. Even if it wasn’t in the budget.
The book states that emotional spending happens when we use shopping as a coping mechanism. Whether it’s retail therapy after a hard day or buying your dog a fancy treat because you feel guilty for working late, emotional spending often leaves you with more guilt than joy.
Since I was already getting financially naked, I got honest with myself. The emotional spending was not going to stop. Especially, when it comes to my dog. So, I put it in my budget and created a fun fund for those emotional expenditures. It also helps me assess and be more intentional as well with my emotional buys.
The book also encourages readers to ask yourself, “What real problem is this purchase solving?” before you make an emotional spending purchase. Asking myself that question helps to keep my fun fund in check so that I won’t go overboard.
Was I Trying to Keep Up with the Joneses?
In the book, Evans states that social media makes it easy to fall into the comparison trap. Especially, when you’re looking at beautifully curated spaces or luxury dog mommy and me trips.
The good news for me is that I realized that I had let that go a long time ago. When I brought Sugar home, I tried to get her to wear the cute dog fashion clothes. She let me know early on that it wasn’t happening. She hates clothes and doesn’t do anything that she doesn’t want to do. No matter what society says the cool dogs do.
Talk about a lesson from a dog. Not only did her not buying dog clothes save me money, but it also taught me a valuable lesson in being yourself. Which brings me to the final question.
What Did I Want?
As dog moms and women in general, we don’t ask ourselves that question enough. Nor do we take the time to think about the answer. Many times, it’s because we’ve convinced ourselves that we can’t get it.
However, that question is the core of every financial plan. We ask ourselves what we want and create a financial plan to get there.
So, I gave myself permission and asked myself what I wanted. I wanted a house for Sugar and I to live in. I was done with paying pet rent and ready to be a homeowner. It took me over a year to save and get ready, but I’m here. Sugar’s here. Enjoying our new home together.
Getting Financially Naked Challenge
Since this month’s theme is dedicated to spring cleaning to make room, there’s nothing wrong with getting financially naked. Here’s how.
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Gather your numbers: Write down your income, expenses, savings, and debt.
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Ask yourself the four questions:
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Am I avoiding my financial situation?
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Am I an emotional spender?
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Am I trying to keep up with others?
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What do I want?
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Set one small financial goal: Whether it’s creating a budget, saving $100, or reviewing subscriptions, start small.
Feel Good Finance also provides a great roadmap to help you create a financial plan after you’ve looked in your financial nakedness in the mirror.
Conclusion
Feel Good Finance: Untangle Your Relationship with Money for Better Mental, Emotional, and Financial Well-Being was a great read. It helped me understand my relationship with money on a deeper level. We need money to pay for things but understanding the “why” behind our spending is truly impactful. It also helps us assess how to move forward with our financial goals.
For dog moms, this is even more important because your financial well-being directly impacts your ability to care for your dog. The process of getting financially naked isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. It’s about clearing out financial clutter, making room for intentional choices, and creating a life that aligns with your values and supports your ultimate dog mom financial planning goals.
Now we’d love to hear from you. What’s your money story? How has it impacted your dog mom adulting era?
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